Engaged !

I have some good news to share ! I am getting married next month. ( Yes, I know, yaay ! ) I get a lot of questions, am I excited, how are the preparations going, are you stressed, why haven't you quit your job yet, is the shopping done and many more.

I am enjoying this phase to be honest. For a woman, this phase can be tricky, tough or fun, the way you look at it. Mine is a love marriage, and since my fiancé and I have two different cultures, there's a lot I am learning too. Jotting down some of my experiences over the last few months below :

Okay this is going to be little long.

The Engagement :

I continue to work, (Why? I''ll come to it later) so I am heavily dependent on my mother for a lot of planning that needed to get done for the engagement. And not everything went smoothly. A month before the engagement, my grand ma fell and got two fractures on her hip and also one on her right hand. She was completely immobile and we decided to keep the engagement at home instead of a hotel as we initially wanted. (I'm sure my grand ma would love to feel a part of it and that's why we kept it at home.)

Saree :
I wore a traditional kanchipuram saree which I fell in love with the moment I saw the colours. I didn't have time to look up designs of blouses so I decided to go with the simple design that no tailor would possibly mess up. I did want a designer blouse, but after I saw the engagement photos, I realised that this simple design looked perfect. (So thankfully, no regrets)

Tip : 
  • Compromise - If you don't have time, don't hesitate and hold yourself guilty. The simple blouse  designs will never fail to charm.
  • Don't Compromise - On the colours you will wear for your special day, as that would be the first official photos of you and your to-be. And trust me, you want to look good.
Loved the colours - The saree was definitely love at first sight.

Ring :
My fiancé and I decided to buy our own rings as he is in Kuwait currently, and in case there's a difference in size of the ring, it would take forever to correct it.
I had a tough time finding something I like. Reason ? Tiffany raised my expectations. I became obsessed with solitaires and platinum. I started searching all the jewellery stores for similar designs. (Sigh !) I found a very
pretty ring ( just a band and a solitaire the way I wanted ) after a lot of hunting, at Kirtilals.

Tip :
  • Keep in mind that you'll be wearing the ring everyday, so select something you're okay to wear while eating rice and while driving. Basically, shouldn't be uncomfortable for daily wear. 
Photo on the right is taken by my fiancé, who's an amazing photographer !

I decided not to go for a make up artist or a professional photographer. I used my Body Shop BB Cream, Blush and Mascara which gave my skin a nice glow and my eyes some depth ! ( Obviously I also had on my everyday kajal, without which I do not step out of the house. ) For photos, I had some pretty cool friends who experimented with us and we had a lot of fun taking photos. ( I felt like a guinea pig )

Other things :
I continue working, and was working until the Friday leading up to the engagement. I wanted to keep my life as normal as possible. Every bride sees this phase differently. Some take a week off and some quit their jobs. I realised that even though there's so much to do, I would finally go crazy had I not been working. Work was that balancing factor for me. To be planning and shopping 24*7 didn't really suit me. I continued long phone calls with close friends, meeting up with friends, working out everyday ( to be honest, after we decided we were heading for a beach destination for our honeymoon, I started working out everyday ) and went to work everyday. 

Tip :
  • If you're going to take a long break ( or quit ) I suggest you keep your self busy doing something that you like. Make a recipe book, do some craft, blog - anything to not allow yourself to be engulfed with too many thoughts. For some people, negative thoughts can play havoc and hey, there's that saying, - An idle mind is a devils's workshop.
  • Personally, if you can help it, don't quit.
Him :
My fiancé and I were in a long distance relationship for quite a while before the engagement and the time difference is an annoying 2.5 hours. So when it's my bed time ( I sleep by 11 ) he's just settling in after coming back from work. So we have had our fair bits of "Hey, I'm tired, will talk tomorrow" and "Hey, you've been too busy this week, we should talk". In this regard, I think he's been the bigger person or rather, we've both evolved and we now make it a point to talk more often than we used to, though we're both equally busy. Another killer is Whatsapp. ( I am not kidding ) There are times when I am low and I expect a really energy filled reply and all I get is a smiley. What doesn't get conveyed is the emotion, or care or voice of concern - what does get conveyed is a a variety of emoticons. ( Has this happened to you ? ) What helped was talking about it. I told him and while I did, I realised how stupid it was. But I still think if you can talk, you should, emoticons and smileys have not yet replaced that. And, we did little things even while being apart. That made the distance feel small. One such was playing QuizUp. 

Kindly ignore the score ! 

Family :
We've had ( again, our fair share ) misunderstandings and disagreements aplenty. Sometimes, we forget the bigger picture. There's the usual "Your mother said this and my mother didn't mean that" and you realise that you lose it pretty quickly ( if you're having a bad day, it can really snowball into a fight ). We used to act like 2 angry teenagers. Slowly we realised that we're going to be family, and there really needs to be no ego. There are times where you can be tempted to support one side, but again, there's no need to. Because at the end of the day, it's only the two of you. I took some time to realise this, i wish i had realised it sooner. I know it sounds obvious and easy, but sometimes, you may, momentarily, lose your balance. The planning phase has a lot of interaction between the two families, so use this to your advantage.

Tip : 
  • Make it a golden rule to remember, that from two parents, you're going to be having four, feel privileged and act like you deserve it
  • Give your loved ones the gift of  time. Not only your partner, but your to be in-laws, your siblings, and your parents. 
So this has been an exciting journey, and with only a month to go for the d day, I'm going to be blogging a lot more. And hey, it's weekend already :) Happy Weekend and Happy Easter ! 

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13 comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Nice read ! Its going to be harder work w.r.t Family and culture gaps. ( My Experience :) ). Commitment and communication are the key things.

    Anyways Good luck for you new journey.
    Have fun. Enjoy !

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  3. Hi Raj,
    I agree ! I can already see communication as being key. and far as harder work, any marriage is hard :) even if it's same culture !

    Regards,
    Shruti

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    1. Yes. Indeed. But the culture gap is a big thing. for eg: My in-laws want us to be there with them during onam and my parents want us to be there during diwali. Same thing with attending family functions. There are plenty more . Its not easy for me to take holidays every now and then :) These are the things you need to handle well. :)

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  4. Congrats dear! Entering new phase of life :)

    http://zigzacmania.blogspot.in/

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    Replies
    1. Hi Anjali,

      Thanks :)

      Regards,
      Shruti

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  5. Congrats Shruti! You looked absolutely gorgeous in that saree. And I don't know if you remember but we waved each other hello in separate buses some years back at Kaloor bus stand 😊 And if I'm right, you were clueless as to how I was! Well, it was me 😊

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    1. Hi Aathira, Thanks a lot ! I do remember that incident, I remember I waved back and realised I wasn't sure who it was and immediately felt embarrassed ! lol.

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  6. Dearest Shruti,

    " Love isn't all we need - Love is all there is. "

    Lots of love and many congratulations to you and your soulmate. As you embark on this new and beautiful journey may each and everyday of your life be like the greatest adventure you have.

    Cheers to you and your family

    P.S. very well written blog and very heartfelt

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    1. Hi Vandana,

      So nice to hear from you after so long. Thank you so much for those beautiful words.

      Regards,
      Shruti

      PS - We should catch up :)

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  7. very well written.......waiting to read ur blog after marriage can see ur excitement,d countdown too is narrowing down from double digits to single digits.its one of d best phases in anybodies life.............enjoy.

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    1. Thanks Sonia :) the countdown is surely and steadily narrowing !

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  8. Nice Writing
    All The Best For :)

    http://www.kanchipuramportal.com/

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